One of the main advantages of living on Mars is that there are no expectations of what I should wear when going about my daily business as a trillionaire.
When you run a business on a scale such as Lychee enterprises ( The name of the fictional company I’ve decided to own), you are somewhat expected to dress in a certain way, this, when taking examples of many billionaire tycoons and entrepreneurs back on Earth, is normally a boring suit and bland tie combination, accompanied by a cheerful wave, and an inner feeling of your creativity dying inside…
With Martians, who find all clothing worn by a human to be slightly weird, I don’t have this problem on a daily basis, I note that I have only been judged by what I wear as a trillionaire- when I do business on Earth.
For this post I will be telling you all about how I came to dress as I do, and how I am mostly influenced by the fashion of the red planet. So sit back and relax children of Earth!
This guide will advise you all, for when you become a trillionaire, how to dress in a way where nobody wants to punch you in the face because you are more successful than them. Oprah.
As I think it will help vastly too, I will also reluctantly reveal my journey to dressing the way I do, as I did try many ‘experimental looks, that wasn’t as successful as they could have been.
Rather awkwardly, you may have realized that I didn’t really go through the normal phases of a teenager, such as experimenting with substances, and drinking weird liquids. (Keeping it family friendly…)
Now, you would think being such a high status figure in intergalactic technology, clothing, food, zoology and kale growing I would have more a lot more to worry about, other than the complexity of trillionaire fashion.
But my fascination on the subject of different kinds of material I cover myself in, and the way this material is combined with other fibers of a material derived from a plant, cotton, has made me a top fashion guru on Mars.
This probably explains why my eccentric clothing designs are continually the most popular and most sought after pieces of clothing the normal alien fashionista can clothe themselves in!
The complication of how to look when I was a very young, barely teenage billionaire was of a high importance and a subject that was continually concerning and time consuming for me.
Something I don’t really experience much.
This meant that I had to, for the first time, look up to the already less successful billionaires to see how they use their clothing to create symbol of themselves, and admittedly make myself look more influential.
I did have much difficulty actually getting the Lychee brand excepted in the many alien societies of the Milky Way, so I had to ‘experiment’, such as trying the’ dressed down, I don’t care, I created a social network ‘look of Mark Zuckerburg.
As you can tell from my look of disgust + discomfort, and with this, the utter boredom a person would experience when having the misfortune to see me in this outfit.
I figured this look really wasn’t ideal For me, and so I IMMEDIATELY just has to take this unimaginative T-shirt and jeans combination off myself, and stop such a fashion faux pas…
Kudos on the slightly successful social network though Zuckerberg. I heard Facebook is doing quite well. I remember a time when I had your money.
I think it was my 9th birthday my worth hit £50,000,000,000…
Which was equally unsuccessful, I infact remember myself saying how nauseating it was to wear such a boring combination of black and white, where is the color BRANSON…!!!
I can’t criticize him though, he is the man that would invite me and the family round for tea in the sky. (Just drinking cups of tea, but at an altitude of over 25,000 feet. So EXILIRATING!!
I then tried dressing simple, yet effective, like that of Steve jobs…
I tried this style because We are both very similar in the way we earned our fortune, I just earned a tiny bit more in a much smaller time scale.
He unfortunately never discovered the secret of the hamamash, which tells you just how to become a trillionaire. Though there are only 3 known individuals who actually know the hamamash.
No, I won’t tell you.I can’t say I was completely happy with this style either though, the turtle neck was quite tight, and it made me pull a face of annoyance, like the one you see above!
After trying so many styles business men before me have pulled off so successfully, I figured the best style to be stand out from the others would be to create my own!
“JUST WEAR ANYTHING!”
So I did, and Lychee enterprises have grown and grown and grown to where we are today!
Some might say it’s the innovations and new near impossible advance Lychee brought to the world of technology, that made the business the single largest enterprise in the Milky Way.
Though I tend to side with those that say it is all down to the eccentricity of fashion worn by the Lychee CEO, ME!
So it is 2013, and I have become the successful, eccentric trillionaire that I am.
Among one of my most important jobs is to provide new styles of clothing for the Lychee stores on every planet, moon and Grogle we sell Lychee clothing on.
I find this exciting, and you would see this pays off if you looked at the sales of Lychee clothing, all profits of which go to over 238 charities, on 16 planets, 5 moons, saving over 200000 lives on a weekly basis, and all provided from the simply eccentric ideas of me!
A serious fashion post next week! I just wanted to post something a little different for Fashion Friday!
Hope you liked it!
For now, bye!